LEVEL UP! or just a FREAK OUT?

I just figured out a great way to explain how it feels when I have an out of body experience. All the feelings to my body disappear, I can’t feel anything. I’m a conscious thought or a floating brain in the air where my head should be. I can’t see anything other than fast movements that are unclear and sounds that are heightened. It’s definitely not a brain, I don’t even know my name … I try to figure it out or grasp on to something tangible but there’s never anything there. I wish it would slow down so I can see.

Typically its a fabulous place to go, I enjoy it immensely. However, last week I had a bit of a freak out! I don’t know for sure why the freak out happened but I have theories for sure. I haven’t been meditating on a regular basis like I should. I’m lucky to get in 2 a week lately so I think that may have something to do with what happened.

I meditated … deeply for the first time in weeks. I was feeling dirty and had a clogged up kind of feeling. So I did the meditation, while smoking before and after as I usually do. This was last week and ohh boy… I flipped out! I felt the loss of feeling in my legs first and then up my body which is all normal. When it reached my head and it was just me and my thoughts, I zoned out like usual but it didn’t let up on its intensity. The build up of euphoria is typically like the largest hill on a roller coaster, you take some time to get to the top but when you peak it’s amazing and then you fall back to the present. This time instead of peaking and going down the hill, I rode the peak higher and longer before the fall back to the present and it scared the shit out of me! I started saying my husbands name over and over trying to get help. I didn’t know if I was going to fall over because I still felt like a floating head lol. Was I dying? He said he could tell something wasn’t right by the tone of my voice. I popped out of it by time he got to me but I was so dizzy after that. I wobbled through the bathroom and I immediately went to bed. My heart raced for a while!

Was this my level up? Is that the next step in this game I’ve been playing with self discovery?

Did the much needed intense meditation cause a normal smoking session to level up?

Maybe it was the dispensary weed. I’ve been getting some bunk ass shit lately so I decided to be legit and pay double. It’s better for sure, but on a scale of 1-10, it’s still only a 5. The bunk cheap shit was maybe a 2! I started this whole discovery of the universe when I was smoking some 9’s.

So, What the hell happened? I was only smoking a 5! LOL

Everything has been totally normal since. I believe my anxiety got the best of me when the euphoria continued on longer than expected. In the past I’ve always been eager to level up but I’m not sure if I liked this last experience.